If you define the concept more precisely, then jealousy is rather a fear of loss than a demonstration of love. Unreasonable and frequent manifestations of jealousy testify not so much to a partner’s distrust as to a lack of faith in one’s own ability to hold mutual relations in the face of even insignificant competition. When jealousy reaches such a degree, the only thing your partner cannot give you is confidence. Your feelings of insecurity and inferiority are such that you can not believe anything else, except that you are so frightened: your place is taken by someone else.
When is jealousy justified?
Since jealousy is the fear of losing something expensive, an ordinary person cannot but feel the threat to a relationship. Jealousy manifested depends on the sobriety of judgments and on self-control. The following remarks, I hope, will help you decide whether your jealousy (or your partner’s jealousy) is justified.
Do you have any reason to be jealous if your partner behaves suspiciously? If a significant but inexplicable change suddenly appears in a well-organized life, your suspicions are likely to be valid. Suspicion always grows with the accumulation of evidence, until it either receives confirmation or leads to a divorce. If you are suspicious, allow yourself a flash of jealousy and give your partner a warning signal of your concern, quite naturally.
Do you have any reason to be jealous if a partner in your presence outrageously flirts with someone? This testifies to his bad manners, and you have the right to reproach him. But he could be far from insulting you, but he could consciously provoke you to be convinced of your love, or, experiencing an insult, he wanted to unwind. Whatever his motives, however, your jealousy has a positive direction in order to openly express and strengthen your sense of self-esteem.
Jealousy is unreasonablewhen it arises solely from your own feelings of humiliation or insecurity. Endless questions about how your partner spends time without you, asked only because you suspect the existence of another life on the side, are offensive, can cause resentment of the partner and have the most destructive effect. Inspections of his clothes to identify the physical signs of infidelity are reckless if you do not have undoubted evidence that he is deceiving you.
It is unwise to be jealous of people whom he knew and loved before meeting you. The very fact that he (she) is with you now should be enough to be sure of his (her) love. If you are jealous of his past, worry about it to yourself.
If you never show your jealousy, you seem very wise. However, do not let your partner hurt or endanger your relationship. If you have not experienced jealousy anywhere, then either you have the happiness of being a highly self-confident person and absolutely calm about the strength of the relationship, or you are not touched by the idea that you can lose a partner.
Jealousy is a very serious problem for someone who has discovered an undeniable infidelity of a partner. Even if you know that at present there are no grounds for suspicion, it is quite natural to worry that what happened once may well repeat itself, and the path to such a conclusion is now much shorter. This reduces your self-esteem, which in turn makes you more willing to believe that the partner will prefer you to almost any other person.
To regain trust, mutual delicacy needed. For your part, you will need extraordinary determination not to subject the partner to cross-checking every minute about each step in order not to keep him in constant defense. The partner, in turn, must create confidence that you are constantly aware of his affairs, and as far as possible to spend free time with you.
The best way to get rid of jealousy - be honest with yourself and your partner. Hopefully, after reading the article, readers will pay more attention to their loved ones, rather than spying on them or inventing imaginary sins. Love you and good luck! Peace!