Who is the husband's wife's wife: daughter in law or daughter in law? Ancestral traditions

Entering the house of her spouse, the newlywed woman received a new status, which was enshrined in the national dictionary. First of all, the recent bride turned into a sister-in-law. She became such, for example, for her husband's mother. And for the brothers sisters, too. And the wives of the brothers - between the daughter. According to Ushakov's dictionary, however, the father of a new married woman is a daughter-in-law.

Other sources consider the concept of “daughter-in-law” to be the complete analogue of “daughter-in-law”. Finally, there is the opinion that the daughter in law is a young wife, and the daughter-in-law is “experienced” or has given birth to a child. By the way, the Greeks living in Russia from time immemorial there is a custom according to which the unborn daughter-in-law has no right to sit at the table with her husband and his parents.

But where did these "family ranks" come from? Well, let's try to figure it out.

The bride

The bride and sister-in-law are very close words that everyone understands. According to one version, this is fundamentally related to the customs that originated under the tribal system, when girls from other tribes or distant settlements were taken as wives. It was known about the chosen one was not enough, therefore she was called “God knows who” (that is, unknown), and this concept became the prototype of the later naming of a girl wed by bride. Entering a man's house, she could not help but reveal her character during the process of living together with its inhabitants, which characterizes the suffix “k” in the word “daughter-in-law”.

Another version refers us to the mythology of ancient Rome, where there existed the cult of the goddess Vesta, the patroness of the hearth and the fire burning in it. In its name there is an Indo-European root, the meaning of which is burning. It was believed that Vesta unites all the people in one family. The priestesses of the goddess, the Vestals, were dressed in a long white dress, belted with a special belt, and a veil. They gave a vow of chastity for 30 years, during which they were obliged to serve their sovereign, and were very respected individuals.

Over time, this tradition has come to Byzantium, and from there it came to Russia. And they began to be called by red girls to be brides, that is, those not falling under the law of celibacy, and after marriage the daughters-in-law are real and legal, that is, on an officially approved basis, who lost their virginity.

Much has been said about the share of the daughter-in-law in folklore. Here, for example, the most characteristic proverbs:

The cat is beaten, and the bride's sister-in-law is given. - That is hinted quite definitely in her place.
Tea is tired like a bride, bride, come on, ceilings! - Like, the best rest is a change of a kind of activity.
Let the daughter-in-law and fool, if only the fire earlier muzzle. - The main thing is to be hard-working, economic, domovaya.
Two daughters-in-law kososytsya (that is, quarrel, scold). - Truly, according to the principle: seven axes lie under the bench together, and two spinning wheels look apart.

The image of the daughter-in-law, who was closely watched and not yet accustomed to the new family, did not complain too much, was used for the hostile characteristic of someone: “Our sister-in-law is all about to crack”; “Our daughter-in-law does not disdain anything: at least honey, and even then it will devour”. And in the Ryazan region, the newly married woman was called a dvukhvostok, either from the fact that she had not yet detached herself from her parental home, but already living in a new family, or likening it to an insect, which is akin to a cockroach.

But among the calendar rites of the agricultural cycle there was one such where the role of the daughter in law was very important. When she first went to harvest, the first sheaf was wrapped in a towel and handed over to her husband's mother. He was solemnly brought into the house, decorated with wreaths, and after threshing, the grain was consecrated and mixed with those prepared for sowing next year. Apparently, the young woman was perceived as a symbol of future abundant fertility.

Daughter in law

The word “daughter-in-law”, no matter how associated in sound with intercourse (in modern vocabulary), has an original etymological meaning of a completely different, as is easily seen by referring to V. Dahl’s dictionary: “Daughter-in-law (i.e. son), son . In the fundamental work of I. I. Sreznevsky “Dictionary of Old Russian Language”, compiled from written records (St. Petersburg, 1912), the term “intercourse” is absent - that is, it is of later origin, and the meaning of the word “daughter-in-law” is interpreted as the son's wife , daughter in law.

According to the version of O. N. Trubachev, the name “daughter-in-law” comes from the Indo-European “sne” - to knit, and in this connection it is suggested that this word has a common meaning with the concept of “base”, since it has the meaning of binding, and cord from the German Schnur - rope, twine. Although, from the point of view of logic, it is more natural to accept that the connecting / connecting function was assigned to the mother-in-law (sledblood) as a more full member of the family added after the wedding, rather than the daughter-in-law, as a rule, the most dependent person in the house.

If we remember the rope, it would be good in a different sense of its use, also based on the traditions of the most ancient peoples. For example, in the palaces of the Great Pontiff of the Romans, like that of Etruscan kings - Lukumon, the presence of a rope was not allowed, since she personified the symbol of binding, i.e., deprivation of will, freedom.

In the same V. Dahl appears the concept of "demolish", including, meaning tolerate. - And this is also a good reason for reflection. A well-known turnover of “being at demolitions” is associated with fast deliveries. In favor of the version that the daughter-in-law, in contrast to the daughter-in-law, a more experienced wife (first of all, because she brings a child into the world), say the following folk words:

The daughter-in-law is more generous than generous (as it gives the family the continuation of the race).
They brought a daughter-in-law, and put the pipe on the roof (which means that it became brighter in the house, they began to drown in a non-black way).

The rise in the marital status of the daughter-in-law is distinctly pronounced in the following statement: “Father and mother marry the first son, and daughter-in-law the second son”. It means that her review of her husband's parents is received with all the attention. Note that in the above folklore texts, when a positive characterization of the role of a son’s wife in a family is given, it is called not a daughter-in-law. Of course, we can assume that this is an accident, but in this case, an argument is needed, which I have not met.

If the daughter-in-law had a good relationship with her husband's parents, then the mood in the house was expressed by the words: two coats are warm, two hostesses are kind. This meant the adoption of his son's wife as his own, native, and not a stranger.

And yet it was often stressed that the daughter-in-law occupies a subordinate position, which her husband and spouse can remind her of all the time. Allegorically, this is conveyed in the saying: “A nightingale smugs a cuckoo, mother-in-law of a daughter-in-law.” True, as a sign of the attachment to the “nightingale” that has already taken root in the family, it is added: “Those who murmur love him”. And the nightingale is a bird that is loved by the people.

In addition, it continued to be customized in the work, calling for diligence: "Strike off, move from the legs to the leg!". And there was still a colloquial, rather snooty riddle: a woman is sitting on a current and threatening to be a daughter in law: I will tear you up, bitch, catch up, and shred. Won it like! If you didn’t figure it out right away, so be it, I'll tell you: it’s about the cat and the mouse. Therefore, the son of a wife could declare a hunt. And why? Because of jealousy, which is expressed in the old formula: son-in-law will have mercy on his daughter (for his wife’s mother), son-in-law hurt (for her husband’s mother).

But the new mistress, having acquired a life experience and, after finding out what the family situation was, could show her temper, at least in relation to the wives of her husband's brothers. As there, in the classic: "Two daughter-in-law for a motley ribbon were scratched into the blood." In addition, unfortunately, the people noticed and unpleasant cases of occurrence of intimate intimacy between the daughter in law and the parent of her husband. In the villages and the life was all in sight, to hide something was really very difficult. The peasant, seen in such obscenity, was forever receiving the stigma of a daughter-in-law or a stripper, which expressed public censure and contempt for violating the sanctity of family ties.

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Still, I am for the fact that the daughter-in-law is an adult daughter-in-law. What do you think?

Who are the relatives of her husband's wife? Father-in-law and mother-in-law in the tradition of our ancestors

Who are his wife's relatives, his relatives? The sister and daughter in the folk tradition of the ancestors

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